We all do it to some degree or other. We compare. We may do it consciously or unconsciously. It is however not going to be the most helpful of tendencies. Ever.
Perhaps like me, you enjoy looking online at such sites as Pinterest to get some home organisation and management inspiration.
Looking online, looking in magazines and books at the local library, etc., can all be great ways to get some ideas flowing.
They can all be a helpful means to try to source possible ways to tackle some of the household management things that feel like they are constantly tripping you up.
Yet, again, they may simply add to a growing sense of feeling overwhelmed and unable to deliver.
Maybe you have a friend or acquaintance, via one of your networks, whose great domestic accomplishments always seem so house-and garden standard-ish compared to what can be achieved at your place.
This again, can contribute to a a sense of feeling like you just aren't achieving some pre-conceived standard you think you should hold up as the ideal standard for your own household.
Maybe it simply makes you feel down, (and oh so dysfunctional), to have to face up to, time and time again, just how much a mountain of laundry is always present at your place.
There is nothing quite like the feelings that come with thinking: "There are just no dust bunnies whatsoever at XYZ's house EVER!"
Quit comparing, my friend!
Yes, I for one admit I like things to be orderly, so hopefully time and energy is redeemed. However.
And it is a big however.
However, I have fast been learning that no one else's standards, means of doing things, is going to be the perfect solution for my particular household experience.
Be real. Quit comparing, my friend.
You need to stop comparing what you are doing with what others are seemingly doing.
What works in one household setting is not going to be a perfect fit in another household setting.
Certainly look at what others are doing. What the final outcome for them seemingly has been, but instead release it, send it packing, when it comes to thinking that you can emulate exactly the same in your own domestic woods.
It is so easy to get caught in the trap of applying comparisons.
Don't. Don't go there.
Save yourself a whole lot of unnecessary mental and emotional trouble.
Your household. Your situation, is unique to you. That's right. It is unique.
If you want to look on and admire and feel delighted for the other person and can distinguish that that is how it works best for them, then fine, do so.
But don't sweat over thinking how Mary, Martha and Sue have their children's closests, is the exact same standard for your future attempt at overhauling the same in your home.
Yes, having all the little special colour co-ordinated tags and stickers, etc does make it all super pretty. But hey, at the end of the day what works for you and yours is what counts.
If making it pretty blesses you, then go for it. Make it all pretty. I know, at times I do. However, do weigh up whether it will take too much time and energy away from the big picture stuff. The big picture viewpoint being: To make it appropriately functional, and realistic, so it serves your household members (all of them, including you) best, so you can get on with things like memory making and building relationship.
Yes, I laminate labels and like to make things look pretty as well as be functional, but I get to use the laminator that is already on hand due to a past role in life as a school teacher. Use what you have. First.
Start with what you have. Think about re-purposing all those ice-cream containers you acquired from Grandma so you can sit down and get on with sorting the household medicines, the copious amounts of art supplies or whatever requires some sorting attention.
Enjoy applying some creative thoughts about how to do things to simply get on with getting on. Prettying it up can come later if required. Just do what will make one step of a difference for you and yours at the present time.
If things take slightly longer for you to achieve than Mary, Martha and Sue so be it. Your schedule is not their schedule and vice versa.
I know first-hand what it can feel like to have things take so much longer than you hoped they would. Once again at present, I have crashed. There is nothing left to give at present. That is me being honest. So be it. I need to listen better to the signals my body sends me and those that love me that things are out of balance.
Why? Because like many other mothers, wives, home-makers I go hard out at things, to do things for those I love, all the while endeavouring to make things better for them. This has often taken place at the expense of my own needs, and, as is apparent again at present, my own health.
Why? Because I love to serve my loved ones. I love them much. Plus, I have yet to figure out better, healthier personal boundaries. That is me being very transparent. A bit of a challenge to admit. However, maybe someone out there in cyberspace also needs to know that it's time to let go, it's time to set better, healthier self-care boundaries.
How can we care best and well for our loved ones, if we sacrifice our own welfare? We can't. Period. Full stop. Everything needs to be in balance for EVERYONE.
Sometimes we just have to accept our time-frame has to be a little more fluid than initially thought for achieving things. I know how that is, as I still occasionally just have to take time to rest, to literally sleep, due to fatigue. Like NOW!
I know first-hand that sometimes one just has to accept (yes, accept) for me and mine things will eventually get sorted and organized via a longer block of time being applied. That it is necessary to let go and do what is reasonable with the daylight actually had, simply due to the fact the energy available is just that: the energy available.
Enjoy the steps, however small you make towards getting things accomplished.
Yay! You got that load of washing out and dry, and tomorrow it can be folded instead of today.
Great! So be it.
It's washed, it's looking and smelling clean, it's sun dried and tomorrow it will be folded and tucked away where it needs to go.
Applying comparisons. Always setting yourself up to be judged against someone else's time frame and energy resources, is a recipe for staying overwhelmed.
Address that sense of being overwhelmed. Let your directives direct.
Let your current time-frame, your current energy, your current resources determine your outcomes and be okay with that.
Don't let bitterness and anger creep in and steal your present, simply because you compare yourself against even a past experience of having more time, more energy or more resources.
Stay present.
Accept the season that is yours currently. View your glass as being half full.
Address any sense of being overwhelmed simply.
Simply be present and make the most of the actual real time, real energy and real resources currently available to you.
So this particular blog post has no photographs sorry. I don't have the energy. When I have the energy, I will so enjoy getting back to adding those little extras that make a blog post extra great to enjoy viewing.
I absolutely need to take stock and take some time-out to reflect to get my health back on track. Any words of encouragement or advice would be so valued, if you have some to offer.
Enjoy what you have. Enjoy what things are for you.
Enjoy life, as it is for you, currently.
Have a great day wherever you are.
Rhonda
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