Budget Confessions

I loathe grocery shopping. (Yes, this is now the second time I have officially stated that fact here in blogland!) Yet, it is a grim, stark payday reality that I have to put my big girl pants on and somehow work my way through going to do the dreaded grocery shop.

It is a grim, stark fact that housed within the bright well-lit aisles of supermarket land, there are grocery items to be sourced and found that members of my household often require. Need outweighs want. So, I simply have to do grocery shopping...... and try my best not to look as sullen and irritated as I often times can feel!

The juggles that are mine to do, while planning and then carrying out the grocery shopping each payday, are mind boggling at times. The dilemma of deciding how best to meet everyone's needs, when on a very fixed budget, is a source of repetitive stress. I am sure this is a truth that rings true for many others, who are likewise on a fixed budget, and perhaps also in a season of being a one income household.

Sadly, I can recall nothing from my educational experiences growing up, that provided me with some amazing ability to rise above this monotonous, repetitive and horrible juggle each and every payday.

Nothing comes to mind, when it comes to both menu planning and carrying out the required follow-up grocery shop. I simply do not recall receiving any significant educational guidance, other than that which I have since sought out myself now as an actual homemaker. I was by all accounts clueless, about the harsh realities of budgets versus the cost of living.

My school education, (and perhaps yours also), failed somewhat miserably to prepare me for this financial and dietary pickle I get to first-handedly experience again and again, when heading off to do the bi-weekly shopping run for my household.

I was really and truly clueless and am now learning (like so many others in the same boat), in a most harsh fashion, as I too try to wing it from payday to payday as the cost of living steadily increases.

I loathe grocery shopping. However, I loathe even more so the feeling that I am being set up continually to run on a miserable wheel like a poor little mouse. A running wheel that is driven by things out of my control.

I despise feeling like a poor trapped mouse running on a wheel. A mouse, who increasingly feels angrier and more and more exasperated by things beyond their control.

No matter how much I try to make progress while running this particular wheel, I see clearly that I am simply not making it. The fixed budget and the cost of living grow further and further apart.

I loathe being trapped in the cycle of trying to make ends meet, when what I am handed from the outset seems too difficult to deal with!

I am so tired of feeling irritated, frustrated and knocked down before I even set one foot in front of the other to take a step.

I am completely over simply SURVIVING payday to payday.

Being the grownup, with all the necessary burdens this mantle brings, is at times just too difficult. What bliss it appears now with hindsight to be a child. To be surrounded by adults who weather the storms of life when it comes to providing shelter, food, clothing, etc.

Being the grownup has some horrible challenges, and one of those horrible challenges for sure is making budgets stretch and making ends meet, in order to keep the household situation stable and secure. What a nasty burden it is at times!

I want to think smarter.

I want to implement changes that make significant change.

I want to move beyond struggle, beyond surviving payday to payday. I want to cast off a great proportion of the frustration and irritation that seems to cling to the hem of the mantle of a homemaker and household administrator, in the current economic climate.

I know I am not alone in this budget juggling battle. There are many, many other homemakers that are in the very same boat, all bailing water out as fast as they can also.

There are large numbers of us homemakers all trying to dig deep in the trenches, trying to keep things stable, secure and who all cling to some measure of hope that at some point things will perhaps be different.

How? What? Where?

There has to be answers with better results somewhere. This rotating wheel life has got to stop!

New ways. New budgets. New experiences moving forward. Each payday's arrival surely needs to generate less frustration. I am determined to seek a better way forward, because quite frankly: enough is enough!

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